This is Christina.
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You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
All of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
oh oh, oh oh, oh oh, oh oh
Oh oh, oh oh

Wow..I know how that feels. This song relates to me on such a deep personal level. The funny thing about all of it is that just the other day someone asked about him. They were like "Why did you guys brea up?"
"I'm not his type." I replyed.
and he said"Maybe it's because you don't like the blues. You have to like the blues to date a guy like that." I don't know... I thought that was crazy.

It's nice to know that you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done

How I feel right now -------->


It's been seven hours and fifteen days
Since you took your love away
I go out every night and sleep all day
Since you took your love away
Since you been gone I can do whatever I want
I can see whomever I choose
I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant
But nothing...
I said nothing can take away these blues
'Cause nothing compares...
Nothing compares to you


It's been so lonely without you here
Like a bird without a song
Nothing can stop these lonely tears from falling
Tell me baby where did I go wrong?
I could put my arms around every boy I see
But they'd only remind me of you
I went to the doctor and guess what he told me
Guess what he told me
He said, 'girl you better try to have fun
No matter what you do'
But he's a fool...
'Cause nothing compares...
Nothing compares to you

All the flowers that you planted, mama
In the back yard
All died when you went away
I know that living with you baby was sometimes hard
But I'm willing to give it another try
Nothing compares...
Nothing compares to you
Nothing compares...
Nothing compares to you
Nothing compares...
Nothing compares to you
and no one compares to you



I don't see what the big deal is...I have been dead for awhile now. I don't care anymore. Call me a slut or whatever...I could care less...I NEVER SAID I WAS BEAUTIFUL.

But now we speak with ruined tongues and the words we say aren’t meant for anyone.
It’s just a mumbled sentence to a passing acquaintance, but there was once you said you hate my suffering and you understood and you’d take care of me.
You would always be there, well where are you now?

I'm tired of this.
Tired of trying.
Sick of guys.
Sick of this.
I give up on romance.

Smile because it happened.

Don't cry because it's over.

Seer


The ULTIMATE personality test
brought to you by Quizilla


I start college classes tommorrow. Wish me luck.

And now that this scared little girl no longer follows me wherever I go, I miss her. I do. 'Cause there are things I wanna tell her-- to relax, to lighten up, that it is all going to be ok. I want her to know that meeting people who like you, who understand you, who actually accept you for who you are, will become an increasingly rare occurrence. Jen, Jack, Audrey, Andie, Pacey, and Dawson. These people who contributed to who I am, they are with me wherever I go, and as history gets rewritten in small ways with each passing day, my love for them only grows. Because the truth is... it was the best of times. Mistakes were made, hearts were broken, harsh lessons learned, but all of that has receded into fond memory now. How does it happen? Why are we so quick to forget the bad and romanticize the good? Maybe it's because we need to believe that the time we spent together actually meant something, that we were there for each other in a time in our lives that defined us all, a time in our lives that we will never forget. I can't swear this is exactly how it happened. But this is how it felt. -Joey Potter, Dawson's Creek Episode #622



Now I wish this scared little girl would no longer follow me.....

too bad real life isn't like tv...then I would know I have a happy ending coming soon.

And that someone would actually think I am beautiful.

x: name = Christina
:x: piercings = one in each ear
:x: tattoos = none yet
:x: shoe size = 7
:x: hair color = brown/blonde highlights
:x: length = almost to my shoulders

LAST...

:x: movie you rented = Sleeping Beauty
:x: movie you bought = the first season of Three's Company
:x: song you listened to = Hands down..another emo song for today
:x: song that was stuck in your head =Brand New Key
:x: cd you bought = The nightmare before Christmas soundtrack for Rachel
:x: cd you listened to = Tori Amos Scarlet Walks
:x: person you've called = Rachel
:x: person that's called you = Rachel
:x: tv show you've watched = Three's Company
:x: person you were thinking of = myself..lol

DO...

:x: you have a bf or gf = no I scare guys away....
:x: you wish you could live somewhere else = yes. New York.lol
:x: you think about suicide = too much.
:x: you believe in online dating = not really. I've tried it but it didn't end too pretty.
:x: others find you attractive = No. Why would they? I know I'm not pretty.
:x: you want more piercings = nope
:x: you drink = never
:x: you do drugs = never
:x: you smoke = no
:x: you like cleaning =not really
:x: you like roller coasters = sometimes
:x: you write in cursive or print = print
:x: you carry a donor card = nope

FOR OR AGAINST...

:x: long distance relationships = for.
:x: using someone = depends on if they are using you
:x: killing people = against.
:x: teenage smoking = against.
:x: doing drugs = against.
:x: premarital sex = for.
:x: driving drunk = against.
:x: gay/lesbian relationships = not my choice to make there
:x: soap operas = for. Hopefully it will be my future job.

FAVORITE...

:x: food = Pizza
:x: song =Own my Own, Castle in the Clouds, and YOur Body is a wonderland...
:x: thing to do = photography, writing, reading, watching movies and tv.
:x: thing to talk about = books, movies, plays, and clothes. LOL...
:x: sports = Swimming
:x: drinks = Mocha Frappe from Joe Muggs
:x: clothes = My gap Joey Potter sweater....my lei jeans..my purple glitter dress.
:x: movies = too many to list
:x: band/singer = John Mayer, Tori Amos, Mandy Moore...Dave Matthews Band..Prince
:x: holiday = Valetimes Day
:x: cars = Corvette..a red little one



OKay yeah I have nothing to do I know. I sign up for classes on Monday...then start on Tuesday. I have plans to study alot and make my parents proud. YAYYAYYAYYAYA!


Anyways if anyone is free tonight please say me or e-mail and save ,e from my boredom.

<3<3<3 Chris

I don't want to be lonely.

I just want to be alone.

Christina----And although I know that he is blind...Still I say, there's a way for us says:
I don't know...I'm starting to think there is something wrong with me and that's why I can't keep a boyfriend
*LuCkY* says:
there is nothing wrong with you
Christina----And although I know that he is blind...Still I say, there's a way for us says:
I don't know about that
*LuCkY* says:
really you are so awesome
Christina----And although I know that he is blind...Still I say, there's a way for us says:
thanks wish I could find a guy who thought so*LuCkY* says:
russell could probably hook you up with one of his band friends
Christina----And although I know that he is blind...Still I say, there's a way for us says:
lol
Christina----And although I know that he is blind...Still I say, there's a way for us says:
I doubt anyone would want to date meLuCkY* says:
i doubt it...he has some cool friends
Christina----And although I know that he is blind...Still I say, there's a way for us says:
ok
*LuCkY* says:
want to hook you up?
...........................


Enough said....


I just wonder what type of guy she would pick out for me. Who knows. I'm really not up for anything right now....and yet I would like to get out of the house and just go out for fun with someone.





Well I better go while I still have an idea of what I'm saying. And so people know...no matter what I may say..I'm doing okay. Really I am... and well it's actually very strange for me to handle this sort of thing so well. But I am..


Some think it's holding on that makes you strong. Sometimes it's letting go....


taken from tartanscarf's journal...


If that's true I must be getting really STRONG..or atleast today anyways.

<3333 Chris

I hate this feeling. I hate everything about it. I feel so cold and empty and I HATE IT.

Why do I even try and put myself out there.... I always get hurt.


I think there's something wrong with me that makes guys not want to stay around.....

I don't know why I try so hard to make someone else happy and this always happens.(They leave me.)

I just wish I could forget it ever happened. I wish I could forget him. But I can't...
I have never been so happy in my life..
but now it's all like a dream. It's over.

I finally found my dream guy and I wanted him so much...but he didn't want me.


An empty room, a broken fairy tale
A hollow girl with empty arms
From an angel's tears God made the stars
Why can't he make me an unbreakable heart

In my blue world, you shone like heaven's fire
And left me cryin' in the dark
How could anyone be so hard
Did you think I had an unbreakable heart?????????

I suppose I should know
Sometimes love just comes and goes
But I believed, foolish me
We'd go on and on

One day, someone will come to you
And rock you tightly in her arms
Please remember this, when you drop your guard
Nobody has an unbreakable heart

From an angel's wings to a fallen star
God makes everything but unbreakable hearts






My only wish now is that I could have no feelings at all. That they would just go away....... but they won't. And well...now I did something else I shouldn't have... Sometimes I get this feeling nothing ever goes right... I just wish I had somewhere to go away from Arkansas...away from all this.
AWAY FROM MYSELF. If only I was that beauitful girl who broke hearts instead of always having mine broken.

I’m looking for a way to feel you hold me
To feel your heart beat just one more time
I’m reaching back, trying to touch the moment
Each precious minute that you were mine
How do you prepare, when you love someone this way,
To let them go a little more each day?

The stars we put in place
The dreams we didn’t waste
The sorrows we embraced
The world belonged to you and me
The oceans that we crossed
The innocence we’ve lost
The hurting at the end
I go there again,
´Cause it was beautiful.
It was beautiful.

Some days missing you is overwhelming
When it hits me you’re not coming back
And in my darkest hours, I have wondered
Was it worth it for the time we had?
My thoughts get kinda scattered, but one thing I know is true
I bless the day that I found you

The stars we put in place
The dreams we didn’t waste
The sorrows we embraced
The world belonged to you and me
The oceans that we crossed
The innocence we’ve lost
The hurting at the end
I go there again,
´Cause it was beautiful.
It was beautiful.

The rules we stepped aside
The fear that we defied
The thrill of the ride
The fire in our hearts that burned
The oceans that we crossed
The innocence we’ve lost
The hurting at the end
I go there again,
´Cause it was beautiful.
So beautiful.
It was beautiful.

When does life really begin?

It is when you get your first kiss?
Or is it when you take your first step...

Does life begin...

When you go on your first date...or perphaps when you meet your soulmate?

Or maybe it's the first time you drive a car...

Or could it be the first time you make a Wish on Star..

Maybe it's the first time you say goodbye to someone you love..
and know they are going to a better place.

Maybe.... it was the first time I saw your face.

I'm not really sure when life begins but one day I hope to know the answer to this question.


According to Sunday in the Park with George the two best things you can leave behind is children and art. Well my grandpa will leave behind 5 children and 13 grandchildren..so I think he has gotten the children part down... Since I doubt anyone will ever marry me I guess I'll have leave behind some sort of art.


well I'm out.

<3

I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and has a Happy New Years! I love all of you lj kids.


<3 Christina

I Am A: Chaotic Good Elf Bard Thief


Alignment:
Chaotic Good characters are independent types with a strong belief in the value of goodness. They have little use for governments and other forces of order, and will generally do their own things, without heed to such groups.


Race:
Elves are the eldest of all races, although they are generally a bit smaller than humans. They are generally well-cultured, artistic, easy-going, and because of their long lives, unconcerned with day-to-day activities that other races frequently concern themselves with. Elves are, effectively, immortal, although they can be killed. After a thousand years or so, they simply pass on to the next plane of existance.


Primary Class:
Bards are the entertainers. They sing, dance, and play instruments to make other people happy, and, frequently, make money. They also tend to dabble in magic a bit.


Secondary Class:
Thieves are the most roguish of the classes. They are sneaky and nimble-fingered, and have skills with traps and locks. While not all use these skills for burglary, that is a common occupation of this class.


Deity:
Hanali Cenanil is the Chaotic Good elven goddess of love, beauty, and art. She is also known as the Heart of Gold and Lady Goldheart. Her followers delight in creation and youth, and work to spread happiness, love, and beauty. Their preferred weapon is the dagger.


Find out What D&D Character Are You?, courtesy ofNeppyMan (e-mail)

Tonight I had fun at the mall. And the pizza was yummy.
<3 to rachel

Christina

on my way up north
up on the Ventura
I pulled back the hood
and I was talking to you
and I knew then it would be
a Life Long thing
but I didn't know that we
We could break a silver lining
And I'm so sad
like a good book
I can't put this
Day Back
a sorta fairytale
with you
a sorta fairytale
with you
things you said that day
up on the 101
the girl had come undone
I tried to downplay it
with a bet about us
You said that-
You'd take it
as long as I could
I could not erase it
And I'm so sad
like a good book
I can't put this
Day Back
a sorta fairytale
with you
a sorta fairytale
with you
and I ride along side
and I rode along side
You then
and I rode along side
till you lost me there
in the open road
And I rode along side
till the honey spread
itself so thin
for me to break your bread
for me to take your word
I had to steal it
And I'm so sad
like a good book
I can't put this
Day Back
a sorta fairytale
with you
a sorta fairytale
with you
I could pick back up
whenever I feel


down New Mexico way
something about
the open road
I knew that he was
looking for some Indian Blood and
find a little in you find a little
in me we may be
on this road but
We're just
Imposters
in this country you know
So we go along and we said
we'd fake it
feel better with
Oliver Stone
till I
almost smacked him -
seemed right that night and
I don't know what
takes hold
out there in the
Desert cold
These guys think they must
Try and just get over on us


And I'm so sad
like a good book
I can't put this
Day Back
a sorta fairytale
with you
a sorta fairytale
with you
and I was ridin' by
ridin' along side
for a while till you lost me
and I was ridin' by
ridin' along till you lost me
till you lost
me in
The Rear
View
you lost me
I said
way up North I took my day
all in all was a pretty nice
day and I put the Hood
right back where
You could taste heaven
perfectly
Feel out the summer breeze
didn't know when we'd be back
And I I don't
didn't think
We'd end up like
like this

I remember it was last summer when I meet him for the first time. I was a redhead then and I was wearing blue jeans with a white shirt. Rachel was dressed in her normal punk wear, and we decided to stop by BAM for a Mocha Frappe. It was a sunday afternoon. Well when got there a guy was behind the cafe we had never seen before. And he didn't know how to make a Mocha Frappe. He was just watching the cafe because they were so busy. Anyways he ended up going to get Kristina off her break to make our drink. And for sure reason I found this very funny. After that I always teased Roger about making me a drink. And from that our friendship started to build. We talk about differant things in life. Movies, books, and such. I used to walk beside him while he put the books in the shelves. And I'd tell him about how I loved Anne of Green Gables, Gone with the Wind, or my all time favorite Little Women. We shared our thoughts and we even exchanged a few e-mails. Roger and I had a lot of things in common..we both loved Prince, John Mayer, and Avril Lavigne. We both had a love for reading. I remember I used to tell Roger alot of my problems and he was always there. One day I was having a bad day and Roger even got me a free drink from the cafe. He was a great friend I had. And I know that we still are friends but it won't be the same since he doesn't work at BAM anymore. I know every time I go to Book A Million I will look for him. Like the other I was looking for it just wasn't the same. And a lady who works there came up to me and asked"Aren't you Roger's friend?"
"Yes."I said.
"It's so weird that he doesn't work here anymore."She said. Now that is the understandment of the year.

Roger was about 23 years old. He moved away from his home to go to ASU. He was in love once but it doesn't work out. He decided he'd be better off on his own for awhile. Roger loves poems..and can't have any chocolate. Thereforth Halloween wasn't much fun for him as a kid so he passed up trick or treating. Roger spends most of his time writing his book and he loves Buffy the tv show. Roger was a great friend of mine at Book A Million and I hope he will come back and hang out with me from time to time. I am going to miss him more then works can say.

Good friends are like stars....You don't always see them, but you know they are always there.


Most people walk in and out of you life. But only friends leave footprints in your heart.



that's all for me now,

Chrissy